Some of you may know that I started a new job this week selling insurance. Well, kind of. I'll be selling as soon as i'm licensed. I showed up bright eyed and eager on Monday to begin studying for the first of 2 tests and (though I got off to a slow start) I like to think that I powered through it. Second Day of studying came and went and I was 3 days further into the curriculum than I even needed to be.
...But then, today happened...
I don't know if it has to do with the greasy gray skies, the annoying peck of cold rain I can't shake off or what, but somewhere around Section 3E:part 4 of Properties and Casualties Insurance... I lost it. Any pathetic amount of motivation, focus or drive. My mind began to wander towards things that actually interest me and The Awakening came to mind. With an upcoming (this semester) series on worship and my ongoing brainstorm on how to better consistently lead this community in worship, this question crossed my mind:
What role does worship have in this place?. I mean this very place. Right here, in the back of a freezing office burning with harsh florescent lighting (the worst).
I began to think through all the different elements of worship:
1. Giving. Is there a way I could be giving better in this scenario? Nope.
2. Singing... Nope. Not gonna go there my 3rd day in the office (although the place has solid acoustics).
There are many more, but I finally came to prayer. Why it took me so long, I dont know.
Am I in any kind of constant communication with God? I mean constant, not JUST "Jesus help me get through these next two weeks.". What's God doing in my life right now? I'm honestly not sure I can answer that question and clearly as i'd like to. What's God saying to me?
Do I pray for healing?
And i'm not even talking about the hardcore pick-up-your-matt-and-be-crippled-no-more kind of healing, but we so desperately need to be healed and delivered from insecurities the enemy throws at us, desires for things that dim light behind our eyes and our own pursuit of broken relationships, among countless other things.
How often do I let that thought interrupt my day?
That thought led to others. Thoughts that excited me about where I want to be, how I see God moving me in those directions and the vision that He's given this leadership for The Awakening. Before you know it, i was actually kind of refreshed. It was as if the clouds had parted just long enough for me to take a short but much needed walk around the block, because I let my perspective shift to things beyond the immediate, linear distractions around me.
I wonder how often God watches and waits for us to allow these thoughts to push past all of the noise that we pretend is so important. I wonder how badly he desires us to lift our heads from out of the gray clouds and maintain a more elevated sense of awareness.
So what's God doing in your life? Unsure? Great, start a dialogue... right now. Just because He isn't always answering the specific questions we have doesn't mean he isn't speaking to us. It doesn't mean there aren't conversations to be had.
I think that this concept of a relationship and the power that we posses when we maintain a constant level of communication (prayer), is one that is sorely missing from our worship... today reminded me.
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